Taking on the Big Boys book

This book provides a world of insight about woman's inequalities in the work place. After reading this book, it should be clear that about the mistreatment of people based on their genders.

Food for though?
Do corporations take texts such as this book seriously? If they do, is it serious enough?

How can we in this day and age allow gender inequalities when we have supposedly given total freedom to men and women in the United State?

I think it is terrible that people have factual information and nothing is done about it. Taking on the Big boys is just one book. There needs to be thousands in order to get the points across to all the hard headed people in this nation

Time Management

After reading many articles and and business journals, it is clear that time management is very important. Men and women need to be able to balance their careers as well as there family lives. It is clear that if there is too much time spent at work, the family will suffer. If a man or a woman has a child, they must be able to have a presence in their life. It is great to be ambitious and have career goals, but the well being of the family is sometimes more important. This pertains to both men and women. This is a homogeneous issue that all working adults must consider.

Men at Work

A valid point that I feel needs to be discussed comes in chapter 9 when Ellen Bravo makes the point that, “ Clearly many more men would be better fathers, sons, and husbands if they weren’t punished for it at work.” I am currently not out in the workforce I am currently a student in the undergraduate program here at Rollins, but I feel that it is a valid statement to say that men feel pressures at work when attending to certain family needs. So many older more traditional men are the head honchos in certain businesses. There is a very good chance that many of these older men frown upon males taking time off for family needs whether it is leaving a job early or not being able to come in to work so they are able to take care of their children. These elder bosses probably feel that women should be the ones taking care of the family and taking time off rather than a male, I am sure that if you say you have to leave because your child is ill that some bosses will frown upon that and question where is your wife or the child’s mother? Can’t she take care of him? I am not saying that every male superior is like that, I’m sure there are some superiors out there that encourage a father to take time off to be with the family, but there are still male superiors that will not accept a male leaving the workplace to attend to his family. A quote that confirms that there is still this idea that woman should take care of the family more than men is, “[I]t is women, more than men, who want to have children. If quantity of family time matters more to women, it is unfair for them to impose that value on their husbands.” This quote is from Marty Nemko, columnist for the American Conservative Union.

Merrill-Lynch Application???

From the readings in Taking on the Big Boys on page 75, for some reason, which I still do not understand, Merrill Lynch gave all applicants a test that included this question, "Which quality in women do you consider most important?" the choices included beauty, intelligence, dependency, independence, and something labeled "affectionateness. Each choice was assigned a certain amount of points- two each for dependency and affectionateness, and one for beauty. If the applicant answered intelligence or independence they got a zero. This might be one of the most disgraceful things I have ever heard of. Whether this survey was given 30 years ago or 100 years ago it absolutely inappropriate. To think that people that were the head of the application process in the 70's could still possibly be working there is sickening. This survey or test does not just represent the survey committee of Merrill Lynch but also represents the whole company and what the company stands for. Just to think about the logic behind the test is mind-boggling. If you were attracted to an independent woman or a intelligent woman then Merrill lynch did not want you working for them, if you are attracted to those type of women then will that affect your work performance? Will it affect your work hours? I just am unable to fathom the idea of this test. If anyone is able to explain any positive reason for this test please do, I am interested.

political parties and feminism

While reading Taking On The Boys, I have noticed that the author has taken a few shots on conservative and republican leaders and politicians. The book makes it seem as though if you are a feminist or if you are an advocate and supporter for equal pay and treatment for women in the workplace, it is imperative to take a more liberal approach to politics. In the past, I have supported the Republican Party, but now I question if it's possible to remain supportive the party if I want to see progress in having women treated more equally in the workplace. In addition, how do we get congress to be more pro-women for equal treatment? Do we just need to make more informed voting decisions on who campaigns for these certain positions on women in the workplace?

Husbands create work

On page 211, there is a statement about husbands create more work around the house than they perform. This is soooo very true. I would clean house diligently when I was a "home mother" and my husband would come in and within one hour everything would be messed. I would just pick up after him figuring that he was only home a short time and family togetherness was important to me and the three children.

Now that he is retired, the house is one big mess. I'm still working and I get home to find the house in shambles. Now my patience isn't there as before because I feel he is home all the time and should pitch in more. I let it go as I don't want to cause a fight.

Any takers on this one?
Claire

The New Mommy Track

Did anybody read the US News and World Report September 3, 2007 issue? Cover story entitled the above. About ways mothers blending family and work. Pertinent read. Enjoying the book from an academic perspective but very difficult read personally and emotionally.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't...

Check out this article, about how it's virtually impossible in the workplace for women to control how they're perceived by their colleagues:

Women and Work - perceptions

Organizations Working for Women - South

I noticed when reviewing the list (appendix) of 58 organizations that are Working for Women, only 2 of the 58 were in the South. That's 3%! Looks like we have a lot of work to do in this region of the country - the Northeast and California seemed to be the hot spots. Tennessee and Georgia were the only two and I bet there are more women needing advocacy here than in the other regions. Hey, where are the other bloggers?

Do women faculty in the sciences face discrimination?

http://insidehighered.com/news/2005/12/07/gender

http://insidehighered.com/news/2005/05/17/harvard

MIT Gender Equity Project
http://web.mit.edu/gep/res.html

Article on creating a "family friendly workplace"

"A Real Option" an article from Inside Higher Education that addresses the concern of creating a "family friendly workplace”. Just click below:

http://insidehighered.com/news/2005/03/24/parttime


Other related articles follow (for those who have time to read...)

http://insidehighered.com/news/2005/03/21/care

http://insidehighered.com/news/2005/08/23/stress

http://insidehighered.com/news/2005/09/15/ucsb

As promised, I did a lot of reading last week while I flew to and from Seattle and got on my stationary bike for an hour last night. I just finished chapter 8. Sometimes I'm pretty aggravated reading the book - I can't believe we still have so far to go to have equity and respect. A point that really hit me was how we pay people more to cut our lawns and detail our cars than we do those that care for children. How can we not value the raising of children at the highest level? Also, that one CEO that had such outrageous behavior yet the company merely paid out a big settlement and kept him on as CEO. Is that a statement or what? Of course, my husband is getting an earfull as he is usually close by when I'm reading and venting my frustration by reading him excerpts. Fortunately, he agrees with me!

N.Y. Times Article - Silence in Small Lib Arts College

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/15/opinion/15mon4.html?em&ex=1192766400&en=3ff656dadfddae7b&ei=5087%0A

This is a link to an article about silence in the classroom at a liberal arts college . . . and it sounds quite familiar. In my classes it's the men who are noisier, except for one that has 7 women and one man . . . (I think that class is small enough that we are dealing with personal dynamics instead of the usual classroom behavior. But let me think about that.)

OK, I will try to stick with the group

After deciding I didn't have time for this "How to Balance your Life" group I read Rhonda's latest post and will continue on.

Who else is reading Competing Devotions? This book is very interesting in that it breaks down women into four categories: work schema devotion, family schema devotion, reinventing schema devotion - part-time careers and reinventing schema - family life among full-time executives. None of us like to be put into a category but reading this book you can not help but see yourself and other women you know. I was a stay-at-home mom/student for 11 years (family schema) and now fall under part-time career schema and in school hoping to become part of the family life among full time executives schema. This book is dead on when examining external factors that can contribute to the placement of women in various categories.

As a part-time schema, I find myself straddling two worlds: the work schema and family schema and I don't quite fit into either. That is a big drawback for me. Now that I have added school to the mix I think I am out totally. There simply isn't time for anything but my family, job, and school - goodbye clean house, friends, TJ Maxx, working out, and gardening! Where is the balance?

Who has time for this stuff?

Someone asked me a few days ago what should they write about in this blog. I realized that maybe some people might be intimidated by this format, or think that they have to produce some polished, well-argued position before they can make an entry. Please, this blog is a place where you should be able to relax, and just write what you are thinking about in the moment (although we would assume that whatever you write about can somehow be linked to the issues of gender, work and family). No one is grading you. No one is going to judge you if your sentences are not perfectly correct in the grammatical sense (if so, I am in big trouble!). No idea or response is "stupid" or "silly" - in fact, there are probably lots of people thinking or feeling the same thing - they just haven't gotten around to expressing it.

Perhaps it would help if I shared more about why I decided to organize this "reading group." It isn't just to get people to read a book. In fact, in addition to providing us information, the books are a way of bringing us together, and giving us a shared experience to begin talking about this very serious issue: Work and Family in contemporary American society are for the most part incompatable.
So many of you - staff, faculty and students - have asked me in conversations - "how are we supposed to do it all" and "how can I (pick one) 'get tenure,' or 'graduate,' or even 'survive my job' when I am pulled in so many directions?" and "there are only so many hours in the day" and "I feel like I'm not doing anything well." I'd say, something has got to change. And I think one thing that can change is how we define (and create) a "family friendly workplace" in American society. Reading about the issue is meant to be only the first step. Then we need to talk - a lot - and brainstorm - and investigate possibilities and avenues for change - and then we have to collectively push for that change to occur - maybe just locally, maybe something bigger. No one can do it alone. No one group can do it alone - not faculty, not students, and certainly not staff, who are the most vulnerable among us in terms of job security.

I'm already hearing from people who are trying to give me back their book (interestingly, most are professors), telling me that they are so busy w/work and family that they don't have time to participate. I am very sympathetic. But I will not accept any book returns. Even if everyone can not read all of their book, or post a entry in the blog, or even go to all of the scheduled meetings, if we have time to vent about how tired and stressed we are, if we have time to lose sleep worrying about how we are going to get it all done (and come on, who of us hasn't done this?), then can't we take an hour once a week and scan a chapter relevant to us, or comment on someone else's blog entry, maybe just validate that person's experience? Here is what I'm worried about...everyone who took a book seemed to agree that the system doesn't work now, but if no one makes an effort to change things, then we are stuck! Maybe that is the way the status quo is maintained - keep the population so exhausted and overwhelmed that they can't put up a fight. But if we all do just a little - even it if nothing more than supporting the creation of new ideas - than maybe change is possible.

Remember, we aren't struggling because we have made poor choices, or we aren't organized enough (the authors make this clear). It is because ideals of work and family were constructed under the assumption that all families were financially able to live a middle class lifestyle with only one income earner, that that income earner would be male, and that a woman - whose labor in the domestic realm is made invisible by defining it as "labors of love" (you know, if you are doing it out of love, then it isn't really work) - would be available to take care of all the work of day to day life, often with the assistance of poorly paid domestic help (often immigrants and/or women of color), "freeing" the worker from any such cares and making "him" 100%+ available to his employer. One problem (among many) with these ideals is that they do not represent the reality for most families or workers. Furthermore, these ideals, first emerging in the late 1880's and epitomized by the ideal 1950s nuclear family, arose in a context of social inequality and/or exploitation that was reproduced by this devision of labor.

That is not to say that this is just a woman's issue, or that men, or whites, or "white males," are the "bad guy." In contemporary society, men who are trying to take on more involved roles in their families face negative sanctions including lost wages, lost opportunities, or even unemployment. Also, as members of contemporary families, men are not necessarily immune from the stress, lack of sleep, and lack of time for nurturing their relationships. Women as a group may be more vulnerable due to continued gender inequalities, there are costs to men as well. It is also the case that work and family ideals presume heterosexuality, leaving us to wonder where do they leave gays and lesbians.

Lots to think about. I hope that more of you will share your thoughts, or comment on the thoughts of others. Trust me, this blog will get real boring if I am the primary writer!

I have a really dumb question. On page 32 of Blair-Loy, she referred to Sarah Jacobs as a "renowned rainmaker." Does that mean she earned her millions with a forked stick woalking through the Midwest?

Typical reading style

Hello new friends and fellow seekers of balance!

I read Competing Devotions the first night I received it thanks to my good friend Erin who picked it up for me. By read I mean typical reading style for the busy woman - quickly skimming and reading what interests you in a very haphazard fashion. I could not put the book down. It was facinating to learn that I am an "Alpha Mom" and not crazy. OK, maybe a little crazy but sometimes that is where creative genius comes in. Yes, I am still waiting for the arrival of the genius part.

A little about me: Brand new 40 year old, married for 16 years, four kids, two dogs, cat, and house in Chuluota. Blessed to be working at Rollins College in Foundation Relations for three years. Recently started a part-time doctoral program at UF in higher education administration. Out of shape but still smiling. Been out of balance for about 14 and 1/2 years. Addicted to coffee. Love to read. Never blogged in my life - hope I am not overdoing it. (wrote on 10/9 but didn't post until 10/16)

My Desk

Rhonda, I just wondered how you knew what my desk looks like. Actually I had hoped to begin reading some each night and taking it with me to the two conferences I am attending in the next two week-ends.

Rhonda, I admit to setting the book aside, but only for a few days. I plan to do a lot of reading over the weekend. Thanks for taking the lead on all this. Talk to you soon, Wendy

Have you started reading your book yet?

Hopefully, most of you have received your book for the work/family conflict reading groups. Now don't be tempted to just set your book off to the side, thinking you'll get to it soon. Before you know it, the book will disappear, buried under junk mail, bills, school work and all the other "stuff" that comes through our door everyday.

I know, many of you are wondering when the heck are you going to find time to read. That is why I want to encourage you to take a look inside your book, start reading the first few pages. I think once you see how relevant the issues are to your own life, you are going to want to read more.

I'll be honest with you, I haven't finished reading my book yet either. I read Competing Devotions last year, so I'm reading Taking on the Big Boys now. I take it with me to work everyday and read a bit of it while I'm eating lunch at my desk, or when I'm waiting for some printing job to finish. It is somewhat slow going for me, as I keep stopping to underline passages, or write notes in the margins. But that is just an indication of how interesting I'm finding it. Actually, a lot of times I get really angry about what I read. Even though I'm pretty informed about the issues of work, gender and family, I can't help but being shocked by some of the stories Bravo shares. I'm also getting a lot of useful information, including Bravo's typologies of resistance to family friendly or gender equitable policies and examples of practices that employers have used to make their workplaces more family/woman friendly.

I'll be looking for posting's from all of you. I can't wait to hear what you think about your books.